Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
