Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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