spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize