I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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