I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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