I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
as a side note pls kill me
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