she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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