I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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