The maid of honor just puked.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize