Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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