We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
