If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I checked into jail on foursquare
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
