I'm going to jail i love you
i already hear my dad disowning me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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