Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
