Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
