I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
soo... how was my night?
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