I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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