I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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