He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
