There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
