I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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