Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
