The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
