I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
