Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
