I want to stick my p in your. b.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize