Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
