I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Randomize
