I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
