How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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