And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize