I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
