I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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