You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
