Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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