My brain says no but my pants say off.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
