so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize