This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
