Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
