im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize