Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fuck appropriateness.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
