i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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