my vag is so smooth its legendary
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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