**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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