yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
