the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
