I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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