You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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