I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
