this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
