Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize