shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
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You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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