He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
