Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
