YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
