Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
