When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
