What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
