i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize