is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
