well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
