Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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