She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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