you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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