Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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