have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
