even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
