This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
